But what if you could turn the outrageousness of the bankrobbing suggestion into a catalyst for absolutely ethical client-building or job-finding strategies? Here’s one set of tips you could discover with quick brainstorming questions.

Why rob a bank?  Because that’s where the big money is right now.

Why not rob a bank?  Everyone’s property, health, comfort and safety matter to you.  Your conscience and self-respect matter to you.

What does it take to rob a bank:  Audacity.  Careful planning.  Reliable sidekicks.  Not worrying about what others think.

What lessons can you take from bankrobbers to meet your financial needs in a way that’s absolutely ethical?

The first thing, of course, is to turn around the answer of why not rob a bank, and consider, “how can I support others’ property, health, comfort and/or safety so much that people will be grateful to hand me money in exchange for my goods or services?”  That’s going to take some research and careful planning.  You can do that!

Next, turn the rest of the bank-robbing strategies above into ethical ones.

1.  Go where the biggest money is. Example:  even if you need money fast because the unemployment is running out, don’t depend solely on temp agencies, like everyone else does.  Create a great spiel and sell your own temporary services at a higher price than the agency would pay you, but less than clients would pay an agency.  It may take a lot of calls, but it’s worth it.

2. Be audacious, beginning with brainstorming. Most of us censor out our best ideas way before even one good one hits consciousness. “Playing bankrobber” for a few minutes may make you feel daring enough to relax that censor.  Just for fun, get wildly creative as  you practice your spiel or draft a cover letter. Then rein in the outrageousness a bit so you can find that right mix of creative and sensible, daring and dependable.

3.  Plan carefully. Learn the habits of your target employer or market.  Know what keeps them up at night, what saves them money or time.  Research where they hang out and how they like to get information.  Network to discover someone who knows someone who has a personal connection into the market or company you want to penetrate. If your potential customers don’t read flyers or even beautifully designed bulletin board notices, don’t waste your time or money on them.

4.  Get some reliable sidekicks who can help you network, stay on track, brainstorm ideas, commiserate and celebrate. I love the Hub www.the-hub.net, a rapidly growing international network of people who love to help others create sustainable, socially responsible businesses.  If it’s not in your town yet, see what else is, or create your own.  A woman I know just created a great new group by putting an ad on Craigslist. Six committed heads who bring their laptops along to brainstorming and support sessions really are better than one.

5.  Stop worrying so much what others think. After hearing Dizzy Dean’s comment that “it ain’t bragging if it’s true,” I ignore a lot of “Patty, stop making a spectacle of yourself” voices from childhood and focus on “what does the client really want?” Then, I consider, “what can I offer this potential client?”  One of my favorite gigs came from adding a paragraph to my cover letter that began, “If this were my dream job.” It listed not just how I might meet their listed needs, but also some of their anticipated needs that came from my own meditation about what it would be like to work for the client.

6.  Finally, have fun. Again, I am absolutely opposed to anything unethical.  Yet, I love a good, non-violent caper movie, like the classic “Topkapi,” starring starring Melin Mercouri, Peter Ustinov, Robert Morley and others who cleverly seek to steal a priceless emerald-loaded dagger.  If you put even 1/10 as much daring and creativity in your search for ethical, quick money as this gang of thieves put into their jewel heist, how might you discover a new path to money, both quick and long-term?

Got any examples in your life to share?  Got a specific problem you’d like others to brainstorm for you?  The comment box below awaits you.

As always, many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

So, how do you safeguard all your relationships in these economically trying times?

Firstly, make sure you are communicating.

As a couples therapist, I encourage my clients to be honest with each other about what is going on at work and with finances even if it is difficult. Many men struggle with the imperative “be a provider” and worry if their ability to “bring home the bacon” is threatened, then they are a failure. This is far from the truth, but if you hide your struggles from your partner, the fallout will be greater than some feelings of shame.

Have you ever hidden money problems from your partner? It’ll bite you.

At work, communication is just as important.  Nothing is worse than not knowing what is going on.  Ask questions and don’t spread rumors.  Keep each other up to date without exaggerating or being a worrier.  Stick to the serenity prayer.  Meditate.

Next, work as a team with your partner.

This is not the time to bury your head in the sand and let your loved one take care of it all. Get aware of what is coming in, what is due, and what is saved. That way you and your partner can make sound decisions. Ask each other for opinions or ideas; you never know what another point of view will bring to the table. Respect your partner with the belief they truly can function as a partner.

Team spirit isn’t just for cheerleaders and sports in school.  At work, a sense of shared commitment and direction will help you and your co-workers weather tough times- even financial.  If anyone feels alone, hung out to dry, or disconnected, you’ll lose out on important support.  Help create team spirit even if your bosses don’t:  talk up the mission, the real goals, and what you see as truly important about what you all do.

How else can you help each other pull through financial strains?

Support your partner and ask for support even if it is difficult. Both of you are probably stressed about the whole deal; this means you can empathize. It also means there are times when you speak and times when you listen. I have a couple who both are struggling- her customer numbers have fallen, and his venture business is not taking off. Sometimes she needs to talk, to just have him listen- he’s recently learned how important this skill is, and he’s practicing. In return, she has learned to not constantly bug him about his business and what he’s doing about it; she realized he’s working hard and can’t control it all. Both of them are creating healing moments with these decisions, and it helps them get through.

The same is true at work.  Sometimes your coworkers need to talk to be heard, other times they need feedback and suggestions.  Make sure you clarify your role in the discussion.  If you need either of these things, make sure your listener knows your expectation.  I do also suggest you stay away from constant griping and sniping; they both sap the spirit and energy out of you.  If you find yourself (or another person) falling into the snipe/gripe trap, ask, “What are you going to do to change what you can about it?”

What is the number one thing you can do?

Realize the finance climate is affecting all of you. Be kind to one another, support each other, give encouraging words to partner and colleagues, and hug your partner often.

Today’s courageous work:

1.    Talk with your partner about finances. Make sure you both are clear where you stand and what the plans are (current and backup.) Ask each other what each wants in relation to money problems (ideas, plans, an open ear.)
2.    Create a sense of positive energy and team spirit in your workplace with open communication, good listening, and a lack of snipe/gripe.
3.    Communicate, be a team, support one another, and realize you all are affected.

Kim Leatherdale LPC is the Happy Couple Expert.  She regularly shares easy tips and useful information  at http://creatingrewardingrelationships.blogspot.com/

She also offers video, phone, email, and in-office counseling sessions for couples and individuals; contact her via her blog profile.  Follow her on Twitter- HappyCoupleXprt- for fun quotes and hints.

1) the potential to be visionary is in all of us, though visionary potentials like instincts, imagination and intuition are more likely to be quashed than developed;

2) the worlds of work and money and everything else that affects us are in sore need of real vision, not just same-old strategies or the newest shiny thing; and

3) being the visionaries we were born to be is a lot simpler than trying to live without vision.

Forget old notions that we’re not visionary unless we do something spectacular

… like finding a cure for cancer or being at least as innovative as Steven Spielberg was in his least groundbreaking film.  Forget the impossible idea that to be visionary, we’ve got to foretell the future, not just pay attention to what is and notice what’s likely to happen if we keep moving in the same direction.

Also forget the notion that being very imaginative or making lots of money or impacting many people makes you a visionary.  That definition includes the people who built up the housing bubble and the banking crisis, plus terrorists like the underpants bomber.

Consider this simple, more beneficiary definition of visionary:

We are visionary when, with the help of others, we

1) see clearly what is,

2) imagine what can be,

3) discern which possibilities have integrity in all its meanings:  honest, just, naturally ethical, on true with our deepest values, and on the level with others (including the natural world) and

4) engage in a process of turning into reality the possibilities that we have deemed to be filled with integrity.

What Could Happen By Playing with This Definition of Visionary?

If you were more visionary at life and work, would you see more clearly how you can create the career that calls you in spite of obstacles that now block you?

Would you find new ways to serve yourself and others in your current job, in your community, or through volunteer service?  Would you see better the ways you now create unrest in your relationships, then envision how to build a least a little more peace in your small corner of the world?

What about money?  Could you see more clearly your true financial needs?  Could you discern better what’s really important to you and what’s not?

An Invitation to Investigate Your Visionary Potentials

Several of the posts on this blog relate to being more visionary; some are listed at the bottom of this post.  I hope you check them out.

Several years ago, I wrote “Finding Visions for Work and Life,” which is at www.workwithmeaningandjoy.com.  I hope you check that out, and choose a small paragraph a day from the article as inspiration for your meditations.

Next week, January 20, I’ll be facilitating a webinar for my undergraduate alma mater, William & Mary ,called ” How to Know and Do What Matters Most in All Your Life and Work.”  You don’t have to be an alum to attend, and it’s free.  Please consider joining us at:  https://www.wmalumni.com/?Webinarhome.

Your comments and ideas here are welcome.  Just imagine if each of us opened up our hearts and minds just a little bit more, then shared our ideas and dreams — no matter how big and scary they seem right now.  That’s actually what happened in Williamsburg, VA (the home of William & Mary) and other colonial towns where people dared to dream that their lives could be much better, then dared to follow their dreams with effective, caring action.

As always, many blessings

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Imagine, to use another John Lennon pet phrase, that it’s true.  Love IS all you need to bring more integrity, more purpose, more joy, more peace in the world through the ways  we work and deal with money.  Actually, I’m far from the first person to pose this idea.  One of the best discussions of love, business and money was Tim Sanders’ wonderful article, “Love is the Killer App” in Fast Company Magazine.

Imagine the Most Powerful Force in Work and Money is Love — Not Greed, Fear or Unbridled Competition

It’s been almost 8 years since Sanders wrote this in the “Love is the Killer App” article:  The most powerful force in business isn’t greed, fear, or even the raw energy of unbridled competition. The most powerful force in business is love. It’s what will help your company grow and become stronger. It’s what will propel your career forward. It’s what will give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction in your work, which will help you do your best work.

Since Sanders wrote this, there have been more examples of how disastrous the results of greed, fear and unbridled competition are for everyone than anyone could have imagined in 2002.  Yet, there have also been numerous examples of a movement toward sustainability.  The field of spirit and work (which one prominent publisher told me around 2000 had peaked and was dying), has grown and become mainstream.  Movements in socially responsible capitalism are growing. Millions, probably billions of us, have put our finances on sounder footings of reality and meaning rather than fear and the chase for the latest shiny thing.

Today, Market Forces are Moving Us Towards More Integrity — An Essential Element of Love

Workforce Management recently published “10 Ethics Trends for 2010“  by attorney Stephen M. Paskoff which started with the trend towards even greater public scrutiny for the misdeeds of corporations and their celebrity spokespeople.  I was most excited by the impact of the last two trends he noted:

• Organizations will increasingly come to recognize that uncivil, abusive treatment—whether legal or not—causes business risks that exceed the economic costs of employment claims. These must be reined in during a period of diminished resources. This realization can be found in the health care field and will continue to spread to other industries.

• “Lean and clean” will replace “lean and mean.” Too many people and organizations have suffered too much because of greed and corporate corruption. There will be a renewed focus on values such as integrity, and these will replace the “greed is good” mentality prevalent in many organizations over the past 25 years.

“All You Need Is Love” May Sound Simplistic, But It’s a Great Starting Point

I discovered the “All You Need Is Love” singout through an e-mail from my friend Francine Brevetti.  “All You Need Is Love” certainly works for our friendship.  Not love in a passive “I think nice thoughts about you” kind of way, but in an active relationship where we are there for each other professionally and as buddies, for richer or poorer, in laughter and pain, in sickness and in health.

This morning, while I was viewing “All You Need Is Love,” my husband John joined me.  Later, we came up with these thoughts:

• All you need is love to guide you from hate or confusion towards caring and clarity.
• All you need is love for yourself to give you the courage to speak out when others harm you and to get help to deal with workplace bullies.
• All you need is love to create a richer foundation for any workplace or financial challenge that just your left brain or business as usual.
• All it takes is love to move from a state of “my heart just isn’t in it” to a commitment to do your best for yourself and others.

How Can You Put Love to Work Right Now?

Obviously, I hope you listen to the video and let it move you.

I hope you savor the articles listed above, as well as an earlier post in this blog, “True Love of Money is the Root of Many Blessings.”

To repeat the blog post’s  central thesis, what if  true love of money returns many benefits spiritual and material, including a more sane, kind and profitable economy for everyone? What if you love money according to the definition in Paul’s 1 Corinthians 13, where love is defined as patient, kind and many more wondrous things?

As always, many blessings, and please add your comments.

Pat McHenry Sullivan

While we are accustomed to thinking about expenditures only as spending money, there are also such costs and potential benefits as impact on time, health, relationships, and ability to live purposefully. Thus, the wise choice considers more than just money in calculating ROI (return on investment).

To keep a sense of balance in our lives, we need to look at the many costs of any decision.

Costs are not always obvious. Sometimes, little decisions about money cost dearly in terms of relationships and health. I’ve known friends who argued over a simple dinner bill, where each paid a few more dollars than they thought fair. But what was the cost to their relationship in letting this little thing get in their way?

On the other hand, I’ve purchased an item that I really wanted that cost more than I was planning to spend, and it has brought tremendous joy to me over the years every time I see it in my home. So cost is relative. My enjoyment is worth something.

It’s easy to forget the value of time. The other night my husband and I were invited to a “free” Shakespeare performance. Though we spent two hours waiting in line, the tickets ran out before we got to the front of the line. Our priceless learning: our time is worth more than what it would have cost to buy tickets at the regular price.

Sometimes, inaction is terribly expensive.

Right now, many people are obsessed with saving money, but not spending has its own costs, beyond the fact that we don’t get a service or product we need or really want.

Putting off getting an important repair on our car because we’re trying to save money might mean a bigger bill and more repairs later on. Waiting to go to the doctor to check out a concern might compromise our health. Putting off taking a vacation to take on extra work may add to our stress level and hurt our relationships.

I know many people who are caught in a vicious circle of staying in a job they hate because they have a high mortgage and lots of expenses. By feeling stuck we can get depressed, which can hurt our health and relationships. Our quality of life suffers, and keeps us from feeling fully alive and on purpose.

Yet if we step back, re-evaluate what is important to us, we can re-prioritize and make adjustments. Maybe it’s even time to sell the house and downsize to something smaller, or take in roommates, or move out and rent out the house so that you can enjoy your life until the economy picks up.

Even when we’re strapped for funds, we can create the life map of our choosing.

Can you imagine driving somewhere for the first time but having no idea where it is and no map? Yet this is often how we live our lives.

It’s important that we at least feel in charge, know what we want, and plan for it, knowing that it may take awhile to achieve. If we hate the job, why not be honest with ourselves, write down what our ideal job would look like, and start looking for it in our spare time? Or take a second look at our current job and figure out what is not serving us – sometimes we are resisting an opportunity that can help us grow (e.g., perhaps we are angry at a boss that reminds us of a parent, or we feel undervalued). Perhaps our frustration has less to do with the job and more to do with our own feelings or projections.

We don’t need to feel stuck when in fact we always have many options. Be open to them! Mediate or pray about it – or use any number of spiritual practices that might offer insight. Ask a friend to help you brainstorm and think out of the box.

Here are some guidelines for considering costs and potential return:

• Is this product or service important at this time?
• What potential benefits does it offer?
• What impact might it have either way on my health, spiritual life, family, relationships, etc.?
• How much time will it take?
• What is the actual cost?
• What is the possible cost of inaction?

In sum, what’s my true return on investment — positive or negative?

Kimberly Weichel is a social pioneer, educator, author and specialist in global communications, leadership and peacebuilding. She is co-author of “Healing the Heart of the World” and director of the Institute for Peacebuilding.www.kimweichel.org.

But greed is just one variety of fraud, waste and abuse that have long been rampant in our world. All are supported by a culture that makes it equally hard to confront wrong-doing or to envision a culture based on honesty, sustainability, and compassion.

A participant in a seminar I taught several years ago on “Bottom Line: Integrity” said that if he never wasted any organizational resources such as time or supplies, he might stand out like a sore thumb. Another remembered the pain of being branded a “curve buster” or “teacher’s pet” when she had based her actions not on peer norms but on her deeper values. A third affirmed that by acting on our values, we could be role models.

It’s not easy to confront another’s wrongdoing, and it’s not easy to listen when someone dares say there’s something off with one of our actions or pet projects. But without honest feedback, organizations become like dysfunctional families who are run by those with the least capacity for or commitment to wise leadership.

Needed: Road Markers to Keep Our Work and Business in Integrity

My dad, the late William McHenry, said we are all called to guide each other out of dangerous ethical fogs by being like white lines on curvy mountain roads that can keep us from crashing into each other, provided we slow down enough to see those lines and are humble enough to heed them.

The problem, says whistleblower expert Don Soeken is that, though we are taught to tell the truth and act ethically, we rarely are taught how. Instead we are warned not to be “tattlers” or “snitches” and we’re overwhelmed with stories about how integrity is a poor career move.

Hard as it is to confront wrongdoing in self and others, it’s often harder to meet our own magnificent capacity for goodness and creativity. With each new hope comes the possibility of hurt should the hope not turn into reality. With each new creative possibility comes the danger that we will be less satisfied with the status quo or more threatening to those who are committed to a particular way of seeing things.

How can we build a culture based in integrity?

While I can’t pretend to have all the answers (except when I’m grandiose, which is way out of integrity), I do offer these practical starting points that hopefully will become common habits:

1. We could tell the truth more. Whether we need to blow a whistle against fraud, waste and abuse at work or whether we need to take on the even scarier work of reminding each other how magnificent we can be, we could dare speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when the truth is, “I’m scared” or “I haven’t the foggiest idea how to do what needs to be done.”

2.  We could dare to dream wishfully about what a culture of integrity would look like and how it would act, even though we know right now neither the final content of the dream or how it might possibility be realized. All great movements, like the civil rights movement, started with wishful thinking. Strategy came later, and the dream kept evolving, which called forth more creative strategy.

3. We could take each  integrity challenge as an opportunity to grow, to learn and to serve better ourselves and others. One gift of the current economic mess is a growing dialogue on the nature of integrity and how much it matters to us. If that dialogue is supported, it can come up with far better answers than any expert or politician could.

4. We could go dare to be mentally and emotionally empty more. As the Buddhist teacher Suzuki reminds us, our beginner’s mind can always see new aspects to old challenges. The Christian teacher St. John of the Cross reminds us that sometimes the faint light of a new vision can only be seen when we step away from the light of the status quo.

5. We could go through a ritual of honesty and transformation together. A great model is the Jewish New Year and succeeding the holidays that follow it. First, we eat apples and sweet honey and recall the blessings of what has passed and what is now. Next, we empty our mental and emotional pockets of all the beliefs and thoughts that keep us fully present to ourselves and others. We do our best to heal relationships and make clean those aspects of our lives that are off base.

The Jewish high holy day of Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement, is a time of prayerful fasting, of laying open one’s soul before the Creator. It is followed soon after by the harvest festival of Sukkot, which honors the playful and creative child and by Simchat Torah, which celebrates the holy law as the framework for community. In some synagogues, the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) is danced throughout the community.

As a non-Jew, I’m awed by these ceremonies and what they represent. What kind of a culture could we build together if we honored what is already good and if we also dared be open to seeing our worst faults? What kind of culture could we have if we celebrated and valued those laws and mores that support a culture of integrity?

An affirmative prayer to consider: I choose to see clearly what is on or off integrity in my own life and work. I gratefully accept inspiration from any source in order to clarify my sight and to give me new perspectives. I welcome clarity that will help me discern when and how I am called to act with integrity, and when I am called to wait for further guidance.

As always, many blessings to you,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

True joy is an amazingly unselfish spiritual gift. Joy begets a light heart, plenty of energy, resourcefulness, and the longing to help others find joy. Thanks to the spirit and work movement, I’ve thoroughly learned how to distill joy out of any task, even when reality also includes sorrow, grief or other honest emotions.

Now, thanks to the new movie “Julie and Julia”, my full joy is back in cooking, eating, and sharing food with others. That may not be my paid work, but it sure affects all my paid work and dealings with money. Plus, I’ve got a whole new pair of role models for persisting in any vision around work and money.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Role Model for Any Challenge

In case you missed it, “Julie and Julia” refers to a hot new movie starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Julie is Julie Powell, who recuperated from the daily drudge of an often thankless job by cooking her heart out after work.

Julia Child is the legendary author of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which for 50 years has brought a lot more joy into many American kitchens through her book and her PBS tv shows.

Both women sought purpose; both found it around food. Julie’s decision to cook her way through all 524 recipes in Julia’s cookbook and blog about it became a lively journey that intertwines her story and Julia’s. Like any great story, its essence is about all the things the characters learn and the new gifts they wrestle out of themselves in the process of living zestfully. Then there is the essence we can create for ourselves as we allow the story to become an ingredient in our lives.

“Julie and Julia” are loaded with lessons for the kitchen of any soul:

1.    Start with what you love. Whether looking for a new career or an answer to a puzzling problem, start with what you care about most, and give it love all the way. Do it with gusto, not drudgery, even when the task itself is difficult.

2.    Know and stay true to  your own standards. Somewhere inside, you know what really matters to you. Consider the wisdom and perspective of others and let them guide you, not rule you.

3.     Work with allies, not alone. Be an ally to others and find all the family, friends, and other companions you need to cheer you on, provide feedback, keep you honest, call out the best in you, and celebrate or cry with you. And when you’re being unkind in any way to those allies, fess up!

4.   Don’t limit your allies to people you encounter in the flesh. Julie met Julia only through her writings, her cookbooks and her TV shows. Yet, “without you here,” wrote Julie, “I would be a different persons — a smaller, a sadder, a more frightened person.”

5.   Don’t look for perfection in yourself, your allies and friends, your role models. Julie described Julia as a flawed woman of enormous energy and a great teacher who was funny, generous, and confident. … That’s what I love about her – she inspired because she was a woman, not a saint.”

6. Follow “the thirst to keep finding out, the openness to experience that makes life worth living. … [be willing to dive] into the next possible disaster…”

Dealing with food is a huge part of our lives and work — paid or unpaid. If God hadn’t meant us to enjoy it, why are there so many good things to eat?

The movie took me back to the joy of being in the kitchen with my mother, who used recipes primarily as a springboard for her own creativity. During our 13 years together she taught me to be fearless in the kitchen. I can only imagine what she could have done if had she lived past 1956, when the ethnic food explosion and cooking shows like Julia Child’s came into being.

I came out of “Julie and Julia” convinced that the only way I’ll deal with my own food-related issues is not just to cut the carbs and the wrong fats, but also to savor every morsel. After all, food that is savored digests better. Food that is digested sends out signals of enough and fills the body with more energy for a workout.

There are so many more food issues to explore around money and work, like the whole issues of organic and free-range versus factory-grown and depleted soil, and why the concept of fair trade is growing. Because these matter so much to me, I welcome your insights around them them.

But right now, whatever’s on your plate literally or figuratively, Bon Appetit!

As always, many blessings and come again real soon,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

A Wharton School of Business that finds “tightwads” and “spendthrifts” tend to attract one another, even though they both consciously felt they’d be more comfortable with mates of similar spending habits.   So much for the limited power of the conscious mind!

The subconscious, which is where all behavior comes from, is much more powerful than the conscious mind.  This can be really great news, if you know how to work it.

There is a positive intent behind all financial and other human behavior, no matter how distorted/crazy/stupid/”evil” it may see at present.

Money can be a coping mechanism, a valiant attempt to feel soothed or powerful or in control.  Thus, tightwads are simply trying to feel secure and be prepared for the future. Overspenders are trying to feel safe and happy in the present. They may feel denied if they can’t have what they want when they want it. 

Both dynamics have their place and can be tempered with balance. Many tightwads really do want to loosen up and be a bit freer in their spending, and many spendthrifts really do want to rein in their spending.  So both these polar opposites are actually seeking balance.  Beneath their distortions are some powerful gifts:  the potential for fiscal responsibility over the long haul and the ability to be caring and joyous right here, right now.

We learned many of money behaviors from our parents.

As a gross generality, we tend to model the behavior of our same-gender parent, and to attract traits of our opposite-gender parent in our mate.  As long as those behaviors remain unconscious, they can drive behavior in ways that do not support either partner.

For example, a woman’s compulsion to over-spend on clothing may have little to do with the desire for clothing but more so with childhood habits. Perhaps she saw her mother use shopping as a coping mechanism, and she learned that when life presents stress, shop and you will feel better about yourself. Her mate’s refusal to spend much on himself or others may make him feel like a good provider like his father was.

On the other hand, we may also have taken on financial behaviors that defy our parents or other powerful authority figures.  Example:  the daughter of a very miserly, well-paid professional man was horrified by watching her mother “steal” from her dad’s pants pockets to have enough money to feed the family.  She vowed: “I’ll never depend on a man for money” She became a hoarder, and could not share abundance with others, or herself.

Healthy people learn how to let their own vision and values — not unconscious habits — guide their financial decisions.

The gap between overspenders and oversavers can be bridged through vigilance and a commitment to harmonious money management.  You can’t help how you were “trained” to deal with money, but you certainly can effect positive change in this department.

Here’s how:

• Acknowledge the habits you picked up from your primary caregivers and how those habits now interfere with your best life;
• Acknowledge your and your partner’s rights to feel safe and comfortable, whether or not money is part of your safety and comfort equation, and agree to help each other have the safety and comfort you desire;
• Create a new vision of what you really want from life and how money might support this vision, not be the vision itself;
• Chart a course together to achieve a more central plot on the continuum for fiscal responsibility, so that (1) both partners feel safe and comfortable – - not just financially but in every aspect of life, and (2) you create a financial reality that serves you both well.

Financial mission — a cure for “money disorders”

I work with my patients to create a mission for their life’s work…..focusing on their callings, their purpose, the spiritual essence of their work.  I help them move from a position of fear, rebellion, scarcity or other limiting belief into a state of grounded trust in the goodness of life and their potential to have enough money for their true desires.

Perhaps you are familiar with the expression “dirty money” (or have seen the popular TV show by that name). I help couples focus on making “clean money,” no matter how little or much they earn.  Clean money, as opposed to “dirty money” is made honestly and in a way that has integrity to you and is earned in a manner that makes you proud.

Whatever we focus on will expand, so focus on an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled, spirituality of money.  Discover what each of those qualities means to you, and experience how it feels when you actually create your money in an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled and spiritual way. This practice will not only help you attract more money, but it will also help you enjoy it more and use it better.

Best of Wealth and Health!

Dr. Nancy

Doctor of psychology and clinical hypnotist, Dr. Nancy Irwin is in private practice in Los Angeles. She is also a speaker and the author of YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE (2008, Amazon.com), a collection of “over 40 stories of people over 40” who made amazing transformations. Dr. Nancy has appeared on numerous radio and TV shows, including CNBC, The Greg Behrendt Show, The Rachel Maddow Show, to name a few, and has been quoted in the Huffington Post, the The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and more. She is a member of the California Psychological Association and sits on the Education Committee of the California Coalition on Sexual Offending. www.drnancyirwin.com.

“Tao” means the way, path or guiding principle for working with faith, integrity and meaning in a mysterious universe.

The concept of way, path or guiding principle is central to all religious faiths and secular philosophies — not just the ancient faith of Taoism. We may get lost in ethical fogs or illusion, but through prayer or other pathways, we can find our way back to what most matters. We can find wisdom through patience and by reconciling seeming opposites, like our need to earn money while also caring for others.

In any true tao, paradox is the norm. Example: sometimes the best way to deal with a time crunch is to take more time for prayer or meditation. In the timeless space of ultimate reality that is beyond words or even thought, we generate new insights for the challenge of the moment.

The “Dow” is a rapidly changing bunch of numbers that has been endowed with the perception that it offers great financial wisdom.

“The Dow” stands for a constantly changing index of stock prices selected by the editors of the Wall Street Journal, published by Dow Jones & Company. It’s supposed to measure the financial worth of “the market.” Stocks up, Dow up; stocks down, Dow down. Dow up, good; Dow down, bad.

The Dow is not an intelligent creature. It’s “subject to panics and irrational exuberance and sour moods and churlishness and massive misjudgments. To judge whether an economic plan is working or not requires time and wisdom – neither of which are found in the daily results of the Dow Jones Industrial Average,” writes Joe Campbell. http://2parse.com/?p=2307.

Stock prices make no accounting of environmental or human costs of production or benefits of goods and services. Often the higher the stock price, the lower the human or environmental benefit. And often, stock prices have little or no real relationship to the actual production of goods and services.

Yet many individuals, driven by many media, are obsessed with stock numbers. Jon Stewart satirized this by suggesting that Obama should wear a visor showing the latest stock prices whenever he speaks. http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=220253&title=The-Dow-Knows-All. That way even the laziest viewer could stay focused on “what matters” without having to move focus from Obama to the latest stock numbers.

The Dow is often a powerful catalyst for decisions that take us away from true prosperity.

Can you imagine having to run a business with your eye constantly on stock market prices, not on the true worth you are creating for customers? And knowing that by squeezing costs — no matter the harm to others or the earth or even your own company over the long run– you raise your perceived value and access to capital?

Well, that kind of consciousness has run rampant the past decade, and everyone has suffered from it.

The health care crisis is just one example of how harmful stock price obsession can be. As health insurance whistleblower Wendell Potter reports, “I knew that 47 million people were uninsured, but … in the financial medium, what you think about are the numbers … and whether or not you’re going to meet Wall Street’s expectations.” http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/transcript2.html?print

On June 24, 2009, Potter testified to the U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation that as a senior executive at health insurance companies, “I saw how they confuse their customers and dump the sick – all so they can satisfy their Wall Street investors.”

The impact of this is an awful truth: between us and our doctors are not just health insurance executives but also Wall Street investors, forcing the health insurance companies to force doctors to cut costs so investors can make higher profits.

We need a tao or way to deal with the realities of money that is more meaningful, conscious and beneficial.

Countering this trend of 24-hour Dow obsession are a number of movements that will be discussed in future posts, especially socially responsible investing and conscious capitalism. All mean that we don’t just buy based on price and momentary gain, but we invest longer term in products and services we care about, that provide real good to us and others. We invest more in smaller, local companies that we can know better.

Any tao of money management will require us to relax self-will and be more engaged in something bigger than ourselves, which is a lot more conscious and engaged process than the 60′s definition of tao as “go with the flow.”

When we’re open to it, guidance to find and follow our tao is everywhere. Some of my favorite gems come from Jon Stewart’s 2004 commencement address to our common alma mater, William and Mary:

• So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? And the honest answer is this. You won’t. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.
• [The] truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain.
• Success is defined in myriad ways. [It] will come from your own internal sense of decency .
• Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

What wisdom guides you on your path?

As always, many blessings and come back real soon, Pat McHenry Sullivan

Congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step to a spiritual makeover of any problem. By admitting the problem, your attention, at least for a few seconds, is diverted from any 24-hour stress/worry/whatever negative programming that is polluting your right mind, and you’re open for at least a few nanoseconds to the thought, “maybe things don’t have to be this way. Maybe they can be better.”

Hold that thought. Take a deep breath and inspirit yourself with new energy. As you let go that breath, imagine letting go any tension. Take another breath and consider how the word “spirit” comes from the Latin word for “breath.” Another time, you might want to research the connections between breath and spirit in all the world’s religions, but right now just focus on your breath and spirit. Test the possibility that with guidance from spirit, things really can be better.

Spirit: The Makeover Tool You Can Apply to Any Work or Money Issue, Any Time, Anywhere

Spirit is always with you, even when you ignore it or try to repress it. Spirit is much stronger and way more resourceful than any challenge we ever can face. With spirit we can see more clearly what’s essential and what’s not. We gain courage and allies to help us tackle whatever we can and want to change; we find grace to accept what we can’t change and the wisdom to grow from it.

Sometimes, a simple spiritual insight can lead to huge benefits. Compared to the material world’s beauty makeovers, this is the equivalent of washing and trimming dirty, ragged hair into a flattering cut or trading faded, ill-suited clothing for a fresh outfit in colors and design that enhance the wearer.

The results of a spiritual makeover, however, are deeper, broader, and longer lasting. Example: Sally used to wake up each morning exhausted. Reluctant to start another day at a job whose mission she loved but whose challenges she didn’t, she’d put off getting up. Then she’d grit her teeth and rush off to work. Every evening she’d come home exhausted, and she rarely slept well.

Sally’s dramatic spiritual make-over for her job began with setting her alarm five minutes earlier. That gave her time to re-orient herself from the world of sleep to the world of action. For a moment, she stretched luxuriously. Slowly and consciously, she moved to a sitting position. Then, she meditated just a bit on, “In the morning I set my good purpose.” Next, she took a moment to listen to the birds outside and to enjoy her garden.

Sally soon learned that taking time for herself in the morning made her more efficient. Affirming a purpose that included service to self and others helped her center herself in spirit rather than be fragmented by stress. The more she took time to re-connect to spirit throughout the day, the better she could deal with workplace hassles, including a nitpicking and demanding boss. After work, she had a richer and more relaxed life, including better sleep.

Any Job Can Be More Meaningful and Less Stressful, Even if You Now Dislike the Job

Don’t fall for the common myth that the only satisfying jobs are the ones that pay you well for doing tasks you love, among people who appreciate your skills, etc. How you approach any job (paid or unpaid) profoundly impacts your satisfaction and stress or energy level. With spirit, you always have the power to re-frame how you see the job from your equivalent of “I hate this and I dread doing it,” to your equivalent of “I gratefully accept the wisdom of spirit to help me do the best for myself and others right here, right now.”

The results of prayer can at first seem mystifying. Many years ago, I had to type a labor official’s letters on a typewriter that had no correcting function. Since he didn’t want me to correct what I — an English major graduate from one of the best colleges in the country, thank you! — knew were grammar errors, this required a lot of careful attention on my part.

You can imagine how easy it was to write a mental dissertation on the unfairness of a world where brilliant me had to work for an idiot like him. You may also appreciate how easy it was to heap on other feelings and assumptions, like how doomed and unappreciated I was, and how I couldn’t possibly ever develop the typing skills to do what he demanded, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

Then I heard that clear, quiet inner voice that has always told me the truth. “Thy will be done applies here, too, Pat.”

Of course I fought the voice. Big time and in ways that could make a long, amusing story. The sound bite version is that when I finally heeded this voice, I realized that even I didn’t like myself when I focused on thinking how much better I was than my boss. I saw that, even with poor grammar, he was doing a great job of communicating with his union constituency.

Instead of feeling doomed or frustrated, I felt grateful and hopeful. I rediscovered how much I wanted a job that better suited my talents and dreams, and I found a bit more clarity about my calling and more courage to go for it. Instead of turning off potential employers with arrogance or low self esteem, I became more attractive to them.

Even today, that job reminds me about the joy of service. As a writer, I’m still aware that when my typing skills go awry, it’s a good idea to re-pray, “Thy will be done applies here, too, Pat.” Usually, “Thy will” begins with a message to come off whatever high horse or delusion I’m riding at the moment and to meet current reality with humility, hope and the willingness to do the best I can with what I have.

What’s your story?

How can you make more time and receptivity to reconnect with spirit, as Sally did?

What’s your inner truth’s equivalent of “Thy will be done applies here, too?”

What happens when you hear your inner truth and heed its message?

As always, many blessings and please add your comments by clicking on the teeny word “comments” below. And come back real soon!

Pat McHenry Sullivan