But greed is just one variety of fraud, waste and abuse that have long been rampant in our world. All are supported by a culture that makes it equally hard to confront wrong-doing or to envision a culture based on honesty, sustainability, and compassion.

A participant in a seminar I taught several years ago on “Bottom Line: Integrity” said that if he never wasted any organizational resources such as time or supplies, he might stand out like a sore thumb. Another remembered the pain of being branded a “curve buster” or “teacher’s pet” when she had based her actions not on peer norms but on her deeper values. A third affirmed that by acting on our values, we could be role models.

It’s not easy to confront another’s wrongdoing, and it’s not easy to listen when someone dares say there’s something off with one of our actions or pet projects. But without honest feedback, organizations become like dysfunctional families who are run by those with the least capacity for or commitment to wise leadership.

Needed: Road Markers to Keep Our Work and Business in Integrity

My dad, the late William McHenry, said we are all called to guide each other out of dangerous ethical fogs by being like white lines on curvy mountain roads that can keep us from crashing into each other, provided we slow down enough to see those lines and are humble enough to heed them.

The problem, says whistleblower expert Don Soeken is that, though we are taught to tell the truth and act ethically, we rarely are taught how. Instead we are warned not to be “tattlers” or “snitches” and we’re overwhelmed with stories about how integrity is a poor career move.

Hard as it is to confront wrongdoing in self and others, it’s often harder to meet our own magnificent capacity for goodness and creativity. With each new hope comes the possibility of hurt should the hope not turn into reality. With each new creative possibility comes the danger that we will be less satisfied with the status quo or more threatening to those who are committed to a particular way of seeing things.

How can we build a culture based in integrity?

While I can’t pretend to have all the answers (except when I’m grandiose, which is way out of integrity), I do offer these practical starting points that hopefully will become common habits:

1. We could tell the truth more. Whether we need to blow a whistle against fraud, waste and abuse at work or whether we need to take on the even scarier work of reminding each other how magnificent we can be, we could dare speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when the truth is, “I’m scared” or “I haven’t the foggiest idea how to do what needs to be done.”

2.  We could dare to dream wishfully about what a culture of integrity would look like and how it would act, even though we know right now neither the final content of the dream or how it might possibility be realized. All great movements, like the civil rights movement, started with wishful thinking. Strategy came later, and the dream kept evolving, which called forth more creative strategy.

3. We could take each  integrity challenge as an opportunity to grow, to learn and to serve better ourselves and others. One gift of the current economic mess is a growing dialogue on the nature of integrity and how much it matters to us. If that dialogue is supported, it can come up with far better answers than any expert or politician could.

4. We could go dare to be mentally and emotionally empty more. As the Buddhist teacher Suzuki reminds us, our beginner’s mind can always see new aspects to old challenges. The Christian teacher St. John of the Cross reminds us that sometimes the faint light of a new vision can only be seen when we step away from the light of the status quo.

5. We could go through a ritual of honesty and transformation together. A great model is the Jewish New Year and succeeding the holidays that follow it. First, we eat apples and sweet honey and recall the blessings of what has passed and what is now. Next, we empty our mental and emotional pockets of all the beliefs and thoughts that keep us fully present to ourselves and others. We do our best to heal relationships and make clean those aspects of our lives that are off base.

The Jewish high holy day of Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement, is a time of prayerful fasting, of laying open one’s soul before the Creator. It is followed soon after by the harvest festival of Sukkot, which honors the playful and creative child and by Simchat Torah, which celebrates the holy law as the framework for community. In some synagogues, the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) is danced throughout the community.

As a non-Jew, I’m awed by these ceremonies and what they represent. What kind of a culture could we build together if we honored what is already good and if we also dared be open to seeing our worst faults? What kind of culture could we have if we celebrated and valued those laws and mores that support a culture of integrity?

An affirmative prayer to consider: I choose to see clearly what is on or off integrity in my own life and work. I gratefully accept inspiration from any source in order to clarify my sight and to give me new perspectives. I welcome clarity that will help me discern when and how I am called to act with integrity, and when I am called to wait for further guidance.

As always, many blessings to you,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

A Wharton School of Business that finds “tightwads” and “spendthrifts” tend to attract one another, even though they both consciously felt they’d be more comfortable with mates of similar spending habits.   So much for the limited power of the conscious mind!

The subconscious, which is where all behavior comes from, is much more powerful than the conscious mind.  This can be really great news, if you know how to work it.

There is a positive intent behind all financial and other human behavior, no matter how distorted/crazy/stupid/”evil” it may see at present.

Money can be a coping mechanism, a valiant attempt to feel soothed or powerful or in control.  Thus, tightwads are simply trying to feel secure and be prepared for the future. Overspenders are trying to feel safe and happy in the present. They may feel denied if they can’t have what they want when they want it. 

Both dynamics have their place and can be tempered with balance. Many tightwads really do want to loosen up and be a bit freer in their spending, and many spendthrifts really do want to rein in their spending.  So both these polar opposites are actually seeking balance.  Beneath their distortions are some powerful gifts:  the potential for fiscal responsibility over the long haul and the ability to be caring and joyous right here, right now.

We learned many of money behaviors from our parents.

As a gross generality, we tend to model the behavior of our same-gender parent, and to attract traits of our opposite-gender parent in our mate.  As long as those behaviors remain unconscious, they can drive behavior in ways that do not support either partner.

For example, a woman’s compulsion to over-spend on clothing may have little to do with the desire for clothing but more so with childhood habits. Perhaps she saw her mother use shopping as a coping mechanism, and she learned that when life presents stress, shop and you will feel better about yourself. Her mate’s refusal to spend much on himself or others may make him feel like a good provider like his father was.

On the other hand, we may also have taken on financial behaviors that defy our parents or other powerful authority figures.  Example:  the daughter of a very miserly, well-paid professional man was horrified by watching her mother “steal” from her dad’s pants pockets to have enough money to feed the family.  She vowed: “I’ll never depend on a man for money” She became a hoarder, and could not share abundance with others, or herself.

Healthy people learn how to let their own vision and values — not unconscious habits — guide their financial decisions.

The gap between overspenders and oversavers can be bridged through vigilance and a commitment to harmonious money management.  You can’t help how you were “trained” to deal with money, but you certainly can effect positive change in this department.

Here’s how:

• Acknowledge the habits you picked up from your primary caregivers and how those habits now interfere with your best life;
• Acknowledge your and your partner’s rights to feel safe and comfortable, whether or not money is part of your safety and comfort equation, and agree to help each other have the safety and comfort you desire;
• Create a new vision of what you really want from life and how money might support this vision, not be the vision itself;
• Chart a course together to achieve a more central plot on the continuum for fiscal responsibility, so that (1) both partners feel safe and comfortable – - not just financially but in every aspect of life, and (2) you create a financial reality that serves you both well.

Financial mission — a cure for “money disorders”

I work with my patients to create a mission for their life’s work…..focusing on their callings, their purpose, the spiritual essence of their work.  I help them move from a position of fear, rebellion, scarcity or other limiting belief into a state of grounded trust in the goodness of life and their potential to have enough money for their true desires.

Perhaps you are familiar with the expression “dirty money” (or have seen the popular TV show by that name). I help couples focus on making “clean money,” no matter how little or much they earn.  Clean money, as opposed to “dirty money” is made honestly and in a way that has integrity to you and is earned in a manner that makes you proud.

Whatever we focus on will expand, so focus on an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled, spirituality of money.  Discover what each of those qualities means to you, and experience how it feels when you actually create your money in an authentic, purposeful, integrity-filled and spiritual way. This practice will not only help you attract more money, but it will also help you enjoy it more and use it better.

Best of Wealth and Health!

Dr. Nancy

Doctor of psychology and clinical hypnotist, Dr. Nancy Irwin is in private practice in Los Angeles. She is also a speaker and the author of YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE (2008, Amazon.com), a collection of “over 40 stories of people over 40” who made amazing transformations. Dr. Nancy has appeared on numerous radio and TV shows, including CNBC, The Greg Behrendt Show, The Rachel Maddow Show, to name a few, and has been quoted in the Huffington Post, the The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and more. She is a member of the California Psychological Association and sits on the Education Committee of the California Coalition on Sexual Offending. www.drnancyirwin.com.

The original Prayer of St. Francis is posted in many cubicles and kept in many desk drawers.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Hatred, love and every other element of the prayer of St. Francis shows up at work today.

Hatred shows up in not just in physical violence or screaming hatred, but also in all ways we can harm others through our work. Racial, sexual and other harassment or discrimination are definitely forms of hatred. So are rudeness and fraud. Theft. Lying about a product or service’s value. Any types of lies.

Hatred also extends to deliberate un-caring, which includes carelessness or indifference. Or helping others commit fraud, waste or abuse.

Obviously, we can’t give our love at work the way we would a child or spouse or close friend, but we can love through our work by doing a task carefully — as if we were doing it for our beloved. We can love by blessings our tasks and bringing all our consciousness to the work.

Being kind an compassionate to vendors, bosses and colleagues is a powerful way to love through work. So is confronting fraud, waste and abuse because we care more about the well-being of others than we fear retaliation for speaking truth to power.

In 2006, my husband John and I taught a class on spirituality and work, using the Prayer of St. Francis as a starting point or touchstone for making our work our prayer, our prayer our work.

Here’s our prayer for today’s workplace realities, based on the Prayer of St. Francis.

Make me an instrument of peace at work.

Where there are indifference or hatred, let me sow compassion and love.

Where there are fraud, waste, and abuse, let me sow accountability and help restore justice.

Where there are stress and burnout, help me sow purpose and divine calm.

Where there are darkness and confusion, help me find wisdom and clear sight.

Where there is sadness, help me promote healing and joy.

May all my tasks be done in harmony with all Creation.

May I always work in balance, true to myself and my purpose, on the level with others, giving to others, loving others, as I give to and love myself.

May my workplace be sacred space, where peaceful, divine order ripples out from each small act that I do, right here, right now, and always.

How does the prayer of St. Francis inspire your own workday prayer?

How can you put it What’s your prayer for your current realities around work?

As always, many blessing, Pat McHenry Sullivan.

Please add your comments by clicking on “comments” below and to the right.

Congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step to a spiritual makeover of any problem. By admitting the problem, your attention, at least for a few seconds, is diverted from any 24-hour stress/worry/whatever negative programming that is polluting your right mind, and you’re open for at least a few nanoseconds to the thought, “maybe things don’t have to be this way. Maybe they can be better.”

Hold that thought. Take a deep breath and inspirit yourself with new energy. As you let go that breath, imagine letting go any tension. Take another breath and consider how the word “spirit” comes from the Latin word for “breath.” Another time, you might want to research the connections between breath and spirit in all the world’s religions, but right now just focus on your breath and spirit. Test the possibility that with guidance from spirit, things really can be better.

Spirit: The Makeover Tool You Can Apply to Any Work or Money Issue, Any Time, Anywhere

Spirit is always with you, even when you ignore it or try to repress it. Spirit is much stronger and way more resourceful than any challenge we ever can face. With spirit we can see more clearly what’s essential and what’s not. We gain courage and allies to help us tackle whatever we can and want to change; we find grace to accept what we can’t change and the wisdom to grow from it.

Sometimes, a simple spiritual insight can lead to huge benefits. Compared to the material world’s beauty makeovers, this is the equivalent of washing and trimming dirty, ragged hair into a flattering cut or trading faded, ill-suited clothing for a fresh outfit in colors and design that enhance the wearer.

The results of a spiritual makeover, however, are deeper, broader, and longer lasting. Example: Sally used to wake up each morning exhausted. Reluctant to start another day at a job whose mission she loved but whose challenges she didn’t, she’d put off getting up. Then she’d grit her teeth and rush off to work. Every evening she’d come home exhausted, and she rarely slept well.

Sally’s dramatic spiritual make-over for her job began with setting her alarm five minutes earlier. That gave her time to re-orient herself from the world of sleep to the world of action. For a moment, she stretched luxuriously. Slowly and consciously, she moved to a sitting position. Then, she meditated just a bit on, “In the morning I set my good purpose.” Next, she took a moment to listen to the birds outside and to enjoy her garden.

Sally soon learned that taking time for herself in the morning made her more efficient. Affirming a purpose that included service to self and others helped her center herself in spirit rather than be fragmented by stress. The more she took time to re-connect to spirit throughout the day, the better she could deal with workplace hassles, including a nitpicking and demanding boss. After work, she had a richer and more relaxed life, including better sleep.

Any Job Can Be More Meaningful and Less Stressful, Even if You Now Dislike the Job

Don’t fall for the common myth that the only satisfying jobs are the ones that pay you well for doing tasks you love, among people who appreciate your skills, etc. How you approach any job (paid or unpaid) profoundly impacts your satisfaction and stress or energy level. With spirit, you always have the power to re-frame how you see the job from your equivalent of “I hate this and I dread doing it,” to your equivalent of “I gratefully accept the wisdom of spirit to help me do the best for myself and others right here, right now.”

The results of prayer can at first seem mystifying. Many years ago, I had to type a labor official’s letters on a typewriter that had no correcting function. Since he didn’t want me to correct what I — an English major graduate from one of the best colleges in the country, thank you! — knew were grammar errors, this required a lot of careful attention on my part.

You can imagine how easy it was to write a mental dissertation on the unfairness of a world where brilliant me had to work for an idiot like him. You may also appreciate how easy it was to heap on other feelings and assumptions, like how doomed and unappreciated I was, and how I couldn’t possibly ever develop the typing skills to do what he demanded, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

Then I heard that clear, quiet inner voice that has always told me the truth. “Thy will be done applies here, too, Pat.”

Of course I fought the voice. Big time and in ways that could make a long, amusing story. The sound bite version is that when I finally heeded this voice, I realized that even I didn’t like myself when I focused on thinking how much better I was than my boss. I saw that, even with poor grammar, he was doing a great job of communicating with his union constituency.

Instead of feeling doomed or frustrated, I felt grateful and hopeful. I rediscovered how much I wanted a job that better suited my talents and dreams, and I found a bit more clarity about my calling and more courage to go for it. Instead of turning off potential employers with arrogance or low self esteem, I became more attractive to them.

Even today, that job reminds me about the joy of service. As a writer, I’m still aware that when my typing skills go awry, it’s a good idea to re-pray, “Thy will be done applies here, too, Pat.” Usually, “Thy will” begins with a message to come off whatever high horse or delusion I’m riding at the moment and to meet current reality with humility, hope and the willingness to do the best I can with what I have.

What’s your story?

How can you make more time and receptivity to reconnect with spirit, as Sally did?

What’s your inner truth’s equivalent of “Thy will be done applies here, too?”

What happens when you hear your inner truth and heed its message?

As always, many blessings and please add your comments by clicking on the teeny word “comments” below. And come back real soon!

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Affirmative prayer is a powerful tool for reversing the effect of many bad attitudes and decisions about money. Unlike the “God, fix it for me” type of prayer, affirmative prayer combines a statement of faith with a commitment to partner with God or Source or whatever other name we use for the mystery of life, death and what becomes before and after.

Here are some of my favorite affirmative prayers regarding money:

I choose to see clearly how I now pollute or bless my relationship with money. I ask for guidance to create a wiser, sounder and more compassionate relationship to money.

I am grateful that my need for increased income matches another’s need for the very services I am called to offer. (Note: this prayer is adapted from one shared by Rosanne Roberts, a human resources consultant in Santa Fe, www.robertsresources.com.)

With the help of the Universal Ways and Means Committee and the Universal Marketing and Sales Committee, I choose to see clearly how to connect with those who can best use my help. (Note: this prayer is adapted from one shared by Rev. Sarah Hargrave, an entrepreneur and former corporate executive [http://www.ggcsl.org/hargrave.html].)

Oh God, you have shown me many times that I try to take on too many things for too many people, and you have shown me that underlying this tendency are faults like pride or lack of faith. Help me to do what is mine to do and to release what is not mine to do. (This prayer is inspired by many sermons by Rev. Dr. Patricia Keel of Unity of Berkeley, www.unityberkeley.org.)

On the inner level, prayers like these help me see more clearly into my financial challenges and also to see better opportunities for creating ethical abundance. If I am patient enough, such prayers always lead to guidance. Sometimes the guidance calls for more patience. Sometimes the message is to learn nitty-gritty skills, such as marketing and selling or how to create a blog. Sometimes the inner voice insists I take on challenges that I would rather avoid, like picking up the phone and making a sales call. Often, the guidance is about being more disciplined and completing mundane tasks like filing or bookkeeping.

I find that unless the guidance of prayer is followed by affirmative action, prayer and affirmation about money or anything else are useless. Grounded in prayer, action can be powerful.

How about you? What’s your affirmative prayer for your particular situation? How are you called to act in alignment with your values and vision?

Many blessings for your journey of enriching your personal economy, insight by insight, action by action, in a way that truly supports yourself and others.

Come back real soon with your own insights and inspiration,
Pat McHenry Sullivan