What to do?  Perhaps its time to take a closer look at starting your own business.

Small business is actually the backbone of America.

According to the Small Business Administration (SBA),  small firms generate 60% to 80% of all new jobs.  For almost every one of the last 10 years, the birth rate of small businesses has exceeded their death rate, while for large firms the death rate has been greater than their birth rate.

Small business expert and author Pat McHenry Sullivan has been counseling potential entrepreneurs for more than 15 years.  Through her workshops and individual consultations, she has helped hundreds of people write business plans which launched successful and satisfying enterprises.  I asked her assessment of the current economic times.  My questions are in bold; Pat’s answers are in italics.

Is this a good time to start a new business?

If you have the need now, and the passion now, and your products or services are needed now, then now is the time to do it.  Historically, many of the most enduring and profitable businesses began in an economic downturn. Starting to explore by writing a business plan can be valuable for 3 reasons: a) to see if your idea is feasible; b) to discover the best ways to turn your idea into reality, including having a clear vision of your market and how you can best serve them; and c) discerning whether or not you really want to follow your fully-fleshed business idea.  Also, if you start planning now, you will be ready to launch or expand when the economy improves.

Where is the opportunity in this chaos and suffering?

Right now, you can get terrific deals on work space, great employees, etc.  Friends, family, and potential business partners who are also unemployed have more time to brainstorm with you. And you may have more time to see more clearly who you are and what you want to do with you life now that you are free of the daily grind.

What is the new economic framework?  How is it different from the old which nearly brought the collapse of our whole economy?

A lot remains to be seen, especially if Obama can lead a return to solid regulation of the banking and financial industry.  Here are some trends that affect everyone:

• People are saving more, buying less, so you need to be much clearer about what you offer, who needs it, and how they will benefit from what you sell.
• People are more concerned with value they can see and touch
• People  want something they can trust — which means they want more authentic communication from you.
• Traditional small business lending is way down, though it might ease over the next year; creativity and resourcefulness are required to overcome minimal capital.
• People want more ownership in the economy; many are shifting from the larger banks to community ones.

What are the new rules that can rebuild our lives and the economy?

The more your business is anchored in your deepest values, the more solid—and successful—it will be. Here are some ways to do that:

• Cooperate more with others — e.g., build alliances with people you might think of as competitors; look for win-win solutions everywhere.
• Think respectfulness with clients and employees — this will draw and keep them with you, and not cause legal or other problems.
• Know and live your values in everything.  Do what you say, say what you do.
• Take full responsibility for your own choices.
• Build sustainability into your company.  Look for role models, support, and practical tips in the Business Alliance for Local Living Economies (BALLE).

Are you intrigued but a little timorous?  There are lots of places to reach out for help.

Comments from Ellen:  The SBA website is full of useful information, including a basic business plan outline.  SCORE is a national association whose purpose is to help small business owners form and grow their businesses.  SCORE has 364 chapters in the U.S.; their volunteers have been involved in all aspects of business.

You can also reach Pat Sullivan, President of Visionary Resources, at: visionpat@aol.com, 510-530-0284.  Her free webinar, “Inspired Strategy: How to Turn a Vision into A Practical Plan,” given Feb 10 through the William & Mary Alumni Association, is archived at https://www.wmalumni.com/?Webinarhome.

This interview by Ellen Augustine, M.A., originally appeared in the Bedford Ohio Standard on January 29, 2010 and is reprinted with permission.  Ellen is a speaker and author on national currents and the emerging sustainable economy. She may be reached at ellenaugustine@earthlink.net, 510-428-1832, www.storiesofhope.us.

Comments!  Please add your tips, questions and resources.

So, how do you safeguard all your relationships in these economically trying times?

Firstly, make sure you are communicating.

As a couples therapist, I encourage my clients to be honest with each other about what is going on at work and with finances even if it is difficult. Many men struggle with the imperative “be a provider” and worry if their ability to “bring home the bacon” is threatened, then they are a failure. This is far from the truth, but if you hide your struggles from your partner, the fallout will be greater than some feelings of shame.

Have you ever hidden money problems from your partner? It’ll bite you.

At work, communication is just as important.  Nothing is worse than not knowing what is going on.  Ask questions and don’t spread rumors.  Keep each other up to date without exaggerating or being a worrier.  Stick to the serenity prayer.  Meditate.

Next, work as a team with your partner.

This is not the time to bury your head in the sand and let your loved one take care of it all. Get aware of what is coming in, what is due, and what is saved. That way you and your partner can make sound decisions. Ask each other for opinions or ideas; you never know what another point of view will bring to the table. Respect your partner with the belief they truly can function as a partner.

Team spirit isn’t just for cheerleaders and sports in school.  At work, a sense of shared commitment and direction will help you and your co-workers weather tough times- even financial.  If anyone feels alone, hung out to dry, or disconnected, you’ll lose out on important support.  Help create team spirit even if your bosses don’t:  talk up the mission, the real goals, and what you see as truly important about what you all do.

How else can you help each other pull through financial strains?

Support your partner and ask for support even if it is difficult. Both of you are probably stressed about the whole deal; this means you can empathize. It also means there are times when you speak and times when you listen. I have a couple who both are struggling- her customer numbers have fallen, and his venture business is not taking off. Sometimes she needs to talk, to just have him listen- he’s recently learned how important this skill is, and he’s practicing. In return, she has learned to not constantly bug him about his business and what he’s doing about it; she realized he’s working hard and can’t control it all. Both of them are creating healing moments with these decisions, and it helps them get through.

The same is true at work.  Sometimes your coworkers need to talk to be heard, other times they need feedback and suggestions.  Make sure you clarify your role in the discussion.  If you need either of these things, make sure your listener knows your expectation.  I do also suggest you stay away from constant griping and sniping; they both sap the spirit and energy out of you.  If you find yourself (or another person) falling into the snipe/gripe trap, ask, “What are you going to do to change what you can about it?”

What is the number one thing you can do?

Realize the finance climate is affecting all of you. Be kind to one another, support each other, give encouraging words to partner and colleagues, and hug your partner often.

Today’s courageous work:

1.    Talk with your partner about finances. Make sure you both are clear where you stand and what the plans are (current and backup.) Ask each other what each wants in relation to money problems (ideas, plans, an open ear.)
2.    Create a sense of positive energy and team spirit in your workplace with open communication, good listening, and a lack of snipe/gripe.
3.    Communicate, be a team, support one another, and realize you all are affected.

Kim Leatherdale LPC is the Happy Couple Expert.  She regularly shares easy tips and useful information  at http://creatingrewardingrelationships.blogspot.com/

She also offers video, phone, email, and in-office counseling sessions for couples and individuals; contact her via her blog profile.  Follow her on Twitter- HappyCoupleXprt- for fun quotes and hints.

Today, the best most new businesses get from the bank is not a loan but the advice to start a business by bootstrapping.  But what if your bootstraps are kind of puny?  If just can’t get enough from your credit cards, your savings, your family, friends or any payout you got when you were laid off?

Out of Oakland and Berkeley, CA come some powerful insights from one of the best bakeries anywhere and from a local law firm that focuses on sustainable, socially responsible businesses.

Arezmindi Bakery:  How It Launched with Minimal Capital a Few Years Ago and Last Year Increased Profits in a Down Economy

Arizmendi has an unusual business structure.  In this worker co-op, everyone makes the same income (currently almost $20/hour), depending on profitability, plus a share of last year’s profits (which could add $3-10 more per hour) plus great benefits.  Because everyone is responsible to make the business work, and  all voices are heard, the quality of the goods are superb.  So is customer service.

Arizmendi was inspired by the popular Berkeley, CA business, the Cheese Board, which helped launch Arizemendi.  Cheeseboard staff trained the first Arizmendi staff, shared recipes, and even passed on used equipment. That, plus a lot of old-fashioned elbow grease, helped them get off the ground in the cooperative model, which bankers don’t understand or appreciate.

For a full article on the Arizmendi success story, see /www.eastbayexpress.com/ebx/running-a-business-with-26-ceos/Content?oid=1577035.

Are Investors Your Best Small Business Finance Model?

If you’re careful and creative, you might generate plenty of money for your small Main Street business by seeking investors.  But before you imitate Wall Street, Oakland attorney Jenny Kassan of the Katovich Law Group  suggests you be very careful to avoid inadvertently running afoul of state or national securities laws. Contrary to popular belief, securities laws can apply even if someone lends you money for your business, even a small group of local investors who want you to succeed.

Katovich suggests four options for raising funds that don’t require extensive, expensive securities-compliance work.

• Form a cooperative.
• Get donations.
• Sell memberships.
• Pre-sell a product.

For more about funding pitfalls, plus tips and examples of the four options above, see Kassan’s article, “How to Raise Money But Not Break the Bank.”

How to Tap More Creative Ideas from Oakland and the Rest of the East Bay

Oakland, CA and the rest of the cities on the east side of the San Francisco Bay are a hotbed of creative innovation, with a focus on green and socially responsible businesses.

A local free weekly, the East Bay Express,  just launched a new monthly small business issue containing the two great articles mentioned above.  (Full disclosure — I’m one of many small business owners in the area to advertise here.)

Stick with this blog as we explore more about the socially responsible and green businesses.  If you just can’t wait, check out three more of my favorite East Bay resources:

Sustainable Business Alliance: a great model for getting together with fellow green wizards in your area.

East Bay Green Tours, a mind-blowing experience of what can happen when businesses, local government, entrepreneurs and social organizations unite to create a thriving “Green Corridor.”

The Hub Bay Area, a recent addition to a fast-growing international network of gathering places where people with ideas gather to make those ideas happen — and have fun!

As always, many best wishes for your successful, creative work.

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Employers also lose big-time when they don’t stop workplace bullies and harassers.  As we recently reported here,  attorney Stephen M. Paskoff notes that “uncivil, abusive treatment—whether legal or not—causes business risks that exceed the economic costs of employment claims.”  The more we can help make employers see the business benefits of stopping workplace harassment and bullying, the sooner it can stop. Some Workplaces Can Be Really Mean and Hostile

You have to be clueless not to know that it’s illegal to harass or discriminate against people at work on the basis of race, creed, sex, national origin or sexual orientation. Still, at some workplaces it’s considered okay horseplay to drape a rope over the neck of an African American.

At other workplaces, slander based on religion is common.  Many managers turn a blind eye while employees (sometimes other managers) debate the sexual habits of co-workers, or play grab-ass games where participants try to pull each others’ pants down.

You Can’t Stop Workplace Bullies and Harassers Without Saying No

Based on the maybe 1,000 employment law depositions I’ve seen as a employment paralegal or the hundreds of people I’ve interviewed about meaningful work over many years, many employees try a lot of ineffective tactics to stop the bullies and harassers:

• make a joke or laugh it off;
• think only positive thoughts and try to ignore it;
• focus on not letting the bully or harasser see how hurt they are;
• change the subject;
• act nicely in the hopes the bully will stop picking on them; and/or
• hope that any or all of the above will make the abuser get the message and change.

Such tactics may help some people remember their humanity. But when someone is really being abusive, the only thing harassers and bullies understand is “No!” followed by a clear, clean, simple description of just what is not acceptable.

To the Extent We Haven’t Grown Up, It’s Harder to Get Others to Act Like Grown-ups

When the workplace feels like middle school or high school, it can push those painful buttons of any childhood stuff we still haven’t overcome, like an overwhelming fear of being teased and judged by people who so obviously don’t care.

I’ll never forget Jane (assumed name), the only woman in a group of men who acted like prepubescent kids whose teacher had left the room. On the witness stand, she was confronted with how it appeared as if she condoned the bad behavior.  Under questioning, it became obvious that her coping strategy at work was pretty much the same one she had used in junior high: trying to be part of the gang, and not trusting anyone outside the gang to help her.

To Jane and anyone like her:  many of us have been there, done that and found it didn’t work.  It does help to face the old pain or misconceptions with the help of great allies and role models.  I can’t overstress good therapy, buddy sessions, or assertiveness training.

A Personal Experience of Stopping a Bully and Harasser

Years ago, a temporary boss never had time to give clear instructions and always had time to scream in great detail about what I did wrong.  He was so demeaning that sometimes I began to doubt my own intelligence and worth.

After much prayer and emotional venting outside of work, I told him, ” I am here to serve you and want to serve you well. To do that, I need to be really clear about what you want, and I can’t be clear when you give me your instructions in a hurry, like when you are late for a meeting.”

I imagined myself surrounded by wise, strong women who modeled confidence and self-respect. After a deep breath, I continued, “I know you also want me to do a good job.  Here’s what I need from you so I can do that.”  I then said I needed him to 1) make sure I was dis-engaged from the work I was already doing before giving new instructions (so I could pay attention to his new needs), and 2) take time to affirm that I understood his request.

The strategy worked miracles for a while, then I had to remind him again and he behaved better again. With practice, I became more confident and self-assured. Now that I’m an entrepreneur, it’s much easier to avoid clients from hell and draw more of the kind of clients I can serve joyously and well.

We Can’t Stop Bullies and Harassers On Our Own

“Why didn’t you complain?” employment lawyers inevitably ask in a deposition when people like Jane get so fed up they finally bring a legal case. “Because I didn’t know anyone I could trust not to retaliate against me,” is the most common answer.

Because the law is designed to protect you from abuse at work, you have more allies than you probably know.   The better informed you are about your rights and how to defend them, the better you can get help.

Here’s three of Steve Paskoff’s tips:

1. Go to your supervisor or HR, say, “I’ve got to talk to you,” and affirm your desire to do a good job.
2. Lay out the specific behaviors you confront at work.  Include details like the tone of voice in which people speak to you or their body language.
3. State  clearly and unemotionally how these specific behaviors affect your ability to do a good job.  Never forget that the better you can link your complaint to performance, the stronger your case is.

This post is just the beginning of what I hope will be a fruitful dialogue on how to create a more satisfying workplace for everyone. I’m looking forward to getting Paskoff’s book, Teaching Big Shots to Behave and Other HR Challenges. Until then, very best wishes,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

We judge people and situations constantly based on our own frame of reference.

If we’re extroverts, we might consider those who don’t speak up meek or timid; if we’re introverts, we might judge extroverts as forthright or pushy.  Neither judgment is considered a positive by the person making it.

When I was a manager of a department, I asked for agenda items at the beginning of weekly staff meetings. I assumed that silent staff weren’t interested or had nothing to say. After our department took the Myers Briggs test, I learned the quiet staff were introverts who preferred to get the agenda in advance so they could think about their responses ahead of time. It was a great lesson in the danger of assumptions and the importance of acknowledging different working styles.

Finding common ground means looking beyond stereotypes and trying to understand the issue or situation from the other person’s perspective.

It means being open to listening to the other person’s viewpoint – not like a cat ready to spring with our response, but really hearing what they say. Sometimes it helps to summarize what the person has said to be sure you have understood their message – which lets the speaker feel heard and gives them a chance to restate their message if it wasn’t fully understood.  It means asking questions for further clarification.

It doesn’t mean we need to agree. When I really disagree with someone and neither of us is going to change our minds, I often like to say “Let’s agree to disagree on this issue.” This at least provides a common ground ending on that topic.

Finding common ground requires emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is understanding and taking responsibility for our feelings, and showing respect for other people’s feelings. It includes several key components:

1. Self Awareness - The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
2. Self regulation - The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods; the ability to suspend judgment – to think before acting.
3. Empathy – The ability to understand the emotional make up of other people; skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions.
4. Social skill - Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks; an ability to find common ground and build rapport.

Building Common Ground Begins with Personal Spiritual Practice

My practice includes taking personal responsibility for my words and actions, being mindful of the impact of my words and actions on others and making adjustments where necessary, caring about the wellbeing and feelings of others, and nurturing my relationships.

To nurture my relationships – at work, at home, with friends – I need to be sure that each relationship is free of misunderstandings and conflict. Where misunderstandings occur, and of course they do, I take time to speak with the person with as open mind as I can to talk about the misunderstanding and what we can both do to clear it.

The more open I am, the more able I am to hear any concern and make amends or adjustments in my words or actions. Sometimes the misunderstanding is just that – and talking about it clears up confusion. Sometimes it’s a difference of opinion or upset about different ways of doing things, and talking about it honestly can dissipate the energy and lead to healing. I don’t need to change my mind – just understand their perspective.

Intent is key!

When talking with someone about a misunderstanding, is my intention to heal the difference, or do I want to score points or get back at the person? Clearly, a healing intention supports common ground, while the intent to score points shatters it.

When I speak up with an intent to heal, I am vulnerable and I open the door to a deeper kind of dialogue. I have found that misunderstandings or even conflict have deepened a relationship if both of us are willing to be vulnerable and to really listen.

I encourage you to review your relationships.  Check your intention, and see if there are conversations you might want to have to clear up differences – you may be very glad you did.

Blessings,

Kimberly Weichel

Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life by Steven Keeva is just as powerful a transformative tool for real estate agents, receptionists, doctors or people in any other profession as it is for lawyers, judges and legal staff. That’s because Steve wrote about how ordinary people, without permission from the powers that be, bring transforming practices (such as meditation) into their work and thus transform whatever is their work.  Plus, legal work touches all of us, and if lawyers can work more effectively by working more deeply from their souls, then there’s more hope for all of us.
Steven Keeva’s writing and speaking voice have been stilled for several years due to illness.  His website, www.transformingpractices.com, was hacked into some time ago and has not yet been restored.  His book was for several years out of print.  Now the American Bar Association has brought Transforming Practices back.  If there is only one book you could read to discover the heart and soul of your work, this is it.

Transforming Practices is full of juicy stories and practical tips that anyone can use to rediscover the values that drew us to our professions and to steer clear of ethical sandbars or to keep energy and spirit alive through difficult times.  As several attorneys noted in a tribute to Steve at a convention of the International Association of Holistic Lawyers, it’s a lot easier to make changes in a sometimes hidebound profession when someone else has helped make more creative and compassionate ways of operating better known and acceptable.

As you hear some of those tributes to Steve on YouTube, you can be inspired about the impact one person can have when we simply take time to listen, to reflect, and to articulate the longings in others’ hearts that they do not yet know how to speak.

Spirituality and law was not Steve’s original beat for the ABA Journal.  His introduction to the field came first from recognizing how dispirited many lawyers are, for when Steve had to consult with attorneys about a story he was writing, they often poured out their frustrations with the profession.  After discovering the field of spirituality and work about the mid-90′s, he started searching for signs of spirituality in law.  Soon he had enough examples to pitch an article on the subject to the ABA Journal.  Research on the article led to the initial publication of Transforming Practices.

I first connected with Steve while he was finishing Transforming Practices through my friend Judi Neal, Judi’s story of how her meditation practices transformed her experience as a whistleblower and legal client became the center of Chapter 11 of Transforming Practices.

It’s been a joy to speak to Steve over the years, to trade e-mails, and once to speak with him and Stewart Levine about spirituality and law at a spirit and work conference at the University of Massachusetts some years ago.

Steve may never be able to write again.  Those of us who have loved talking with him may never be able to carry on a conversation with him again.

Fortunately, the stories he has told and the simple, clear instructions he has given will endure.  So will his model for transforming a profession:  listen to your own heart.  Take good notes.  Listen to others.  Take good notes.  Open your heart to the hearts of others.  Take good notes, and when you are ready, share the best words that your heart can find to express what matters.

As always, many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

Without spiritual practice, how can we possibly discern how best to spend our time and money on building peace when the needs are so huge and often contradictory? Without spiritual practice, how can we move from overwhelm and exhaustion, into the state of grace, where peaceful abundance can naturally escalate?

Sharing Stories of Hope as a Spiritual Practice

The human business that most concerns me now is peace.  Last week I was deeply disturbed by Obama’s Afghanistan war escalation speech, an armed robbery on the street where I live, the break-in of a friend’s car in San Francisco, and the growing disparity between the haves and have-nots throughout the world.  I don’t know how to make peace in the world, but I do know how to share powerful stories you may have missed in the general media about peace-building practices that work.

Stories inform and inspire.  We need lots of them, and we need them from many sources. The first of the following two stories came from Stephen Colbert and Bill Moyers. The second came from a colleague who had recently bought a peace basket at Macy’s to support the reconciliation movement in Rwanda.

Peace-making is too important to be left to the generals and people in power.  Without our individual and grassroots participation and leadership, peace-making won’t happen.  May the stories that follow stir your own courage and creativity.

From Liberia:  A Model for Casting Out a Dictator and Warlords

Just a few years ago, Liberia was a killing ground run by a corrupt dictator and competing warlords. Then Christian women began praying for peace in their churches.  Muslim women joined them, creating a coalition previously unknown in Liberia.  That led to a sex strike like that in the ancient Greek drama, Lysistrata.

No more sex, the women told their men, until you stop the fighting and make your friends stop fighting.  They then pulled out other motherly weapons, like shaming the warriors, sit-ins, and forcing the men to the peace table. Now the dictator has been banished from the country, the warlords are out of power; and the first freely elected female president rules in Africa.

Last week, I finally got the DVD about the transformation in Liberia, Pray the Devil Back to Hell.   It’s an amazing lesson in the power of commitment, courageous coalitions, and persistence.

From Rwanda:  Reconciliation after Violence

In Rwanda, over a million citizens were slaughtered by their neighbors in 1994. In 2003, the overburdened courts of the Rwandan government began releasing into the community tens of thousands of confessed genocide murderers.

While in prison, many of these murderers were touched by a prison ministry led by, among others, a clergyman who had lost many members of his own family. They felt remorse and sought reconciliation into the community. 10,000 of them have asked to help build homes through the Living Bricks Initiative, which equips repentant genocide perpetrators with the tools to build much-needed housing for their victims’ families.  The vision is to “establish new villages where former killers and survivors live together again as neighbors through practical reconciliation.”

Act by act, person by person, the possibility of sustainable peace grows there. It’s a great role model for restorative justice everywhere, on a one-to-one or larger scale.

We So Need More Stories of Successful Grass Roots Peace Movements

If I had my way, we’d spend way more on helping more people to have more courage of their convictions throughout the world and way less on military actions or prisons.  We’d all know and honor the peacemakers of Rwanda and Liberia, who truly are much more interesting than celebrities or political speculations of any kind.  We’d help each other see how these role models can inspire our own peace-making.

One small step in this direction for me was to buy four copies of Pray the Devil Back to Hell and to lend them out so many small groups can watch it and ask each other, “how am I called to take a stand here in my neighborhood and elsewhere?”  Next month, I’ll add a film about peace-building in Rwanda, “As We Forgive,”  with the same questions.

What’s your next step?

As always, many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan

I used to think I was being clever in getting things done quickly.  But at what cost?

One of the most obvious costs of multi-tasking is the toll it takes on relationships.  In earlier conversations, people might say after speaking for a while, “What do you think?”  Because I couldn’t really pay attention while trying to do something else, I would blush and not know what to say, other than sheepishly ask, “Would you mind repeating it?”

What happened to attentiveness as a basic component of caring?

Like most people with a few decades of life experience, I was brought up to politely pay attention, while inattentiveness or interruptions were considered to be rude.  Now, inattentiveness and interruptions have become common.

I often find myself irritated when I attend events and someone’s cell phone rings, they answer it and start talking in the middle of a conference, movie or program! As both a speaker and attendee of various conferences, I find it disturbing to look around the room and see at least half the heads looking down at their Blackberry.

Can’t people pay attention? Why did we come to an event if we don’t want to listen?  Sure, there are RARE occasions when we are expecting an urgent call, but not all of our non-urgent calls seem to take priority over where we are and who we are with.

Scientific Studies Reveal Some Dangers of Multi-tasking

We all know the dangers of texting and driving, which fortunately has now been banned in all states. Yet many states allow people to talk on the cell phone and drive, despite plenty of evidence that it can lead to accidents, even fatalities.

And how often do we make costly mistakes at work when we try to do too many things at once?  How much longer do conversations take because we don’t pay attention?

Brain Research Shows Multi-tasking Really Doesn’t Work

“For each aspect of human performance — perceiving, thinking and acting — people have specific mental resources whose effective use requires supervision through executive mental control,” says Dr. David Meyer in Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance. http://www.apa.org/journals/xhp It’s as if our mental CEO is trying to process and establish priorities among multiple tasks so it can allocate mental resources to them.

Multi-taskers diminish their ability to focus (and thereby be effective) because they tend to retain distracting information in their short-term memory.  “You’re being flooded with too much information and you can’t selectively filter out quickly which is important and which is not important,” says Meyer. “It only takes a fraction of a second for you to take your eyes off the road and miss the guy making a right-hand turn into your lane.”

Dr. Meyer and others found that people actually lose time by switching repeatedly between two tasks of varying complexity and familiarity. They have shorter attention spans and increased difficulty being present. When things seem not to move fast enough, they try to quickly fill it with something that seems to move faster.

Multi-tasking really inhibits effective human relationships. Don’t we notice when others aren’t paying attention to us?  Aside from whatever feelings we might have about another’s lack of respect, doesn’t the lack of focus and attention make it harder to transact any business right the first time?

For spiritual growth and human relations, we need to focus on one task at a time.

That’s the only way we can be more centered and present. Yes, I can do things like straighten the desk while waiting on a telephone hold, but a conversation or other task requires my full attention.

Spiritual practices help to center me in a fast paced world.  I especially need moments of silence, time for reflection, and time to dream.  The more of this type of practice I do, the more efficient I become.

Next time you are tempted to try 3 things at once, think again. And be sure you savor time for presence and silence.
In peace,

Kimberly Weichel

Kimberly Weichel is a social pioneer, educator, author and specialist in global communications, leadership and peacebuilding. She is co-author of “Healing the Heart of the World” and director of the Institute for Peacebuilding.  www.kimweichel.org.

“Can you give me more tips and resources for how to put more of my values into my business?” asked a participant in a class I taught on business planning at the San Francisco Small Business Administration www.sba.gov/localresources/index.html). That led to the following list, which I’ll use in tomorrow night’s class.  Links are kept visible, in case you want to print out the list and share it.

1.  Be very clear about what matters most to you:  what and who you care about, how you’re called to serve and use your talents.  Focus a vision around your values, then build your business plan around your vision and values.  Resource: “Finding Visions for Work and Life” at www.workwithmeaningandjoy.com/html/your_work_vision.html

2.  Read biographies of people who do business profitably in a way that excites you. Take a walk and imagine your role model giving you practical advice and inspiration.  This process can be magical.  Just ask any kid who becomes more courageous by imagining she is more like her hero. Business consultant C.J. Hayden‘s (www.cjhayden.com) public service website (http://www.howtobecomeahero.com) is loaded with tips.

3.  Think quadruple bottom line:  profits, people, planet and purpose. Research the conscious capitalism and socially responsible business movements; find meetings and gatherings.  Resources:  Fast Company Magazine and its Ethonomics online channel (http://www.fastcompany.com), Heart of Business (www.heartofbusiness.com), Ode Magazine (www.odemagazine.com), consciouscapitalism.com, www.livingeconomies.org and quite possibly your local business school.

4.  Go green! The Sustainable Business Alliance (www.sustainablebiz.org) is a membership organization for companies committed to greater environmental and socially responsible business practices. This San Francisco East Bay, CA group is a role model for any sustainable, socially responsible member group.  Gil Friend’s book and talk on The Truth about Green Business are outstanding.  See www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKB20j4sWAE  Also see his free newsletters at http://www.natlogic.com/approach/new-bottom-line/.

5.  Make integrity your bottom line. (http://spiritworkandmoney.com/creating-a-culture-of-integrity-for-work-and-money/).\   Using your mental inner compass, North Start, gyroscope, or carpenter’s level and plumb line, note how to measure when you are on true with your deepest self and on the level with others.  Then stick to your principles.  Elizabeth Doty’s new book:  The Compromise Trap, How to Thrive at Work without Selling Your Soul, is totally practical.  (See www.worklore.com/CompromiseTrap and  spiritworkandmoney.com/how-to-thrive-at-work-without-selling-your-soul.

6.  Turn every business task into an opportunity to implement your deepest values. For more than thirty years, a growing spirituality and work (also called “faith and work” or “spirituality and business” or “workplace spirituality”) movement has sought to heal the split between work and what matters most:  integrity, purpose, joy, time to pet the cat and be with people we love, etc.  For an overview of this movement and many resources, see www.spiritandworkresourcecenter.com.

7.  Be absolutely respectful in implementing your values at work. The wisdom of our diverse faiths needs to be practiced, not preached.   (spiritworkandmoney.com/all-faiths-are-rich-in-wisdom-for-money-and-work-part-1/  Etiquette for spirituality and work is thankfully a growing field (www.workforce.com/archive/feature/25/96/27/index.php?ht=)  When in doubt, be kind.  http://spiritworkandmoney.com/kindness-the-best-workplace-spirituality-practice-ever/

St. John of the Cross called times like this “the dark night of the soul.”  However the challenge manifests, there’s a sense that you’re at the end of your road.  Whatever spiritual practices worked in the past don’t work now.  Just when you need clear guidance, you’re more clueless than you may dare to admit.

That, as St. John wrote, is as it should be.  Sometimes, the only way to deal with pain is to stop trying to understand it, and simply experience it.  It’s as if we’ve taken all our spiritual wisdom to its edge, and the only way to find our next step is to go past all we think we know, into the darkness of unknowing.  Only then can we see the faint light in our own heart, guiding us to whatever wisdom we need next.

The Dark Night of the Soul Is Rich

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, showed us how even in the midst of great suffering (for him, it was Auschwitz and the loss of most of his family to concentration camps), we can choose how we deal with circumstances.  By finding our own meaning, we become empowered and courageous.

Yet there is a limit to what we can individually do, no matter now courageous or inspired we are.  We don’t create all our own reality, and sometimes the most effective thing we can do is to stop trying to “reframe” what is, and simply be present to ultimate reality, to the eternal presence, to consciousness itself.

Such a stance requires humility, receptivity and letting go the ego’s focus on itself, including our particular dramas of the moment.  That’s not easy.

A Personal Experience of the Dark Night of the Soul

My life’s work coalesced in the early 1990′s, when my husband John was frequently out of work.  Just to pay the bills I took a legal secretarial job (which paid more than more interesting paralegal work) in a corporate law firm. Shortly after, the first of three relatives became mortally ill back east.  Our cat also became ill, requiring expensive veterinary care and frequent injections of fluids under his skin.

Often, I tried to give John a vision for how he could solve his vocational problems, so I wouldn’t have to do so much overtime to pay for all those trips back east. That our marriage survived is due to friends who could confront as well as support, to John’s basic goodness, and to the strength of the vows we had taken.

Finally, I began practicing what I had learned in graduate school under theologian Matthew Fox.  Matt often quoted Meister Elkhart’s statement that God is Isness.  That same statement has been used by Zen masters and others, recognizing God as ultimate reality, or constant presence.  Truly, in the vernacular, “it is what it is.”

Matt often defined the spiritual journey as a constant interplay of the wonder and joy of the Via Positiva and the need to let go and let be in the darkness, suffering and silence of the Via Negativa.  Out of this interplay of the positive and negative come the Via Creativa (self explanatory!) and the Via Transformativa, or compassion, interconnection, and justice-making.

Inspired by these and other teachings, I prayed to apply them in my job.  Over time I discovered that this huge law firm was filled with kindred spirits. I also discovered the soul of law, along with my call to serve that soul.  When John found a job as research director of a spirit and work resource guide, I was ready to see clearly my true place in life.

Much as We Try to Avoid It, We All Need to Go Through Many Dark Nights of the Soul

As a culture, we create a lot of pain by trying to avoid it.  Sometimes, painful things just have to be faced for what they are, not “reframed” into something seemingly more positive, or medicated away.  Instead of blaming ourselves or others because something we deem bad has happened, sometimes it’s more important to accept both how much and how little we can control things like the economy.

Here’s my dream:  instead of pressuring ourselves or our leaders to come up with a quick solution to problems, we support each other to be more prayerful and reflective. Instead of individually and collectively maintaining a desperation to know it all, we help each other through the humble frustration of knowing that right now, we’re not clear about the best path towards ending war, creating jobs, or anything else. Then into that field of unknowing, we plant our most powerful and true desire to see clearly what’s best.

Hopefully, this is just the beginning of a larger discussion.  I pray you join me in your own reflections about the dark night of the soul and how it applies to your life, work and financial dealings. Hopefully, we can then help each other go through those scary times when being clueless is absolutely the right way to be.  Only then can we come through to new vision.

As always, many blessings,

Pat McHenry Sullivan