The Olympics are about so much more than winning or the feelings that go into it.

For me it’s about doing one’s very best after many years of focused practice and extreme dedication. It’s about the ability to be centered enough to perform at one’s peak in front of the world watching. It’s about the drive and passion to be the best we can be at something and going after it. It’s about the ability to perform with precision despite any pain or obstacles that get in the way. And these lessons are applicable to all of us, including the spiritual practices that we can bring to our work, money and other important matters.

My friend Marilyn King was an Olympic pentathlon athlete. About 6 months before the Moscow Olympics she was in a bad car accident and was hospitalized for months. Rather than give up her Olympic dream, she watched videos constantly of other pentathlon athletes performing at their peak and very consciously visualized doing the same.

Although she only had a few months of actual practice time before the Olympics, she placed second. Her practice of visualization was a powerful tool of success.

Marilyn then applied her Olympian wisdom to peacebuilding and education in a process she calls Olympian Thinking.   Her formula is passion (source of energy and creativity), plus vision (crystal clear images of goal), plus action (everything I do in alignment with vision) equals exceptional human performance (ordinary people doing extraordinary things).

What lessons can we derive from the Olympics for the workplace?

1. Strive for excellence - Excellence doesn’t mean perfection, rather the ability to focus and care deeply about our work to do the best we can. Striving for excellence motivates us; striving for perfection is demoralizing. We all make mistakes, but the opportunity is to learn from them and not repeat them. Excellence takes time, hard work, patience, practice and commitment. It doesn’t mean settling for just good enough.
2. Vision - In order to excel in something, we need to be clear where we’re going, what we want to do well. What drives us? What are we passionate about? It’s hard to excel if our heart is not in what we’re doing. Find what has heart and meaning and go for it.
3. Ask for Help or Guidance – All Olympic athletes have coaches – people who work with them, oversee their training, encourage them and keep them on track. We can’t do it alone. If we don’t understand something or are confused or overwhelmed, we need to be able to ask for help or guidance. Consider hiring a coach or finding a mentor.
4. The 3 C’s – Courage, Creativity and Commitment – Athletes don’t make it to the Olympics by being wimps. It takes tremendous courage and commitment to stretch beyond their limits and practice over and over, even when they are exhausted, until they achieve their personal best. It takes creativity to keep trying new routines (ice skating), faster runs (skiing) or new strokes (swimming) until they discover the best, fastest and most creative they can be. Do you practice the 3C’s in your work?
5. Ensure you have the right practical tools - We can never excel if we don’t have the right tools for the job. If you have an older computer, not enough staff, outdated software, need for training, slow internet, etc, be sure you take steps to upgrade. Yes, these cost money upfront, but in the long run save you time and money and enable you to get the job done. Prepare a brief proposal to your boss and explain why upgrading makes sense. Don’t waste time with outdated tools.
6. Don’t forget your spiritual tools! This blog is filled with spiritual tools and practices that can be applied to any task.  Just click on the “Spiritual Practices” category near the bottom of the categories list.
7. Use visualization - See yourself doing what you love at your very best. What does it look and feel like? Remember how Marilyn King used visualization to help her succeed in the Olympics. Use it for yourself.

What is your passion? Your personal best? Where do you excel?

Are you using Olympian thinking to combine your passion with your vision and action to achieve your best? If not, try it.

In peace,

Kim

Kimberly Weichel is a social pioneer, educator, author and specialist in global communications, leadership and peacebuilding. She is co-author of “Healing the Heart of the World” and director of the Institute for Peacebuilding.  www.kimweichel.org.

Flow is the opposite of what happens when get stuck in problems that beget more problems. For me, the opposite of flow is like a downward spiral that can worsen when I respond to problems by getting in a bad mood.  This irritates my family or colleagues, which makes me feel worse. My tension and irritability inhibits my ability to solve the original problems, because I can’t think clearly and make good decisions.  When I relax and get back into the flow, however, I am actually more productive!

Sound familiar?

The flow state is when we are totally immersed in what we are doing NOW, not thinking about results or time or outcome.

All we have to do to remember how much flow could be a part of everyday life is to watch children at play. We too can be in the flow as we paint, play music, or write a story.  Flow can happen over a fun family dinner, while spending quality time with friends, or taking a long walk in nature.  It can happen when we do work we love or  do any work with love.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,  a psychologist who has spent decades studying the state of being he calls “flow,” says that, “The flow state is accessible to everyone … and can occur at any level of skill, and is in fact necessary for real enjoyment of life beyond simple pleasure-seeking. We really don’t get much out of the passive consumption of pleasure, compared to enjoyment which is much more active and creative and self-directive.”

Being in the flow can happen when we are really engaged in our work, when we bring our creativity and aliveness into it.

It can happen when we have lunch or a conversation with work colleagues and really get to know them as if for the first time. It can happen when we believe in what we’re doing and we know our work makes a difference in people’s lives.

Most of my personal examples of being in the flow at work revolve around team projects. I love the excitement that is created when we begin our group brainstorm, then see how it evolves as roles are defined and our plan is established, as we check in with each other, support others as needed, and end up with a product we can all be proud of. None of us could have done this alone.  I usually (not always) feel closer with my team members at the end of the project.

How do we best achieve flow?  Here are my favorite tips:

1. Have an open mind, be curious and open to possibilities, awe and wonder.  If you have forgotten how to do this, imitate how a baby watches the world.
2. Put your full self into what you do and how you do it. Trying to get by is not a way to achieve flow. Nor is doing the same thing over and over because it’s easy.
3. When something doesn’t go the way you hoped, stay flexible. Accept bad things gracefully, rather than resist them.  Otherwise, says a common spiritual principle, what you resist will persist.  As you accept and work with what is, you can soon flow naturally into enjoyment and fulfillment again. I love the John Denver song that goes “All this joy, all this sorrow, all this promise, all this pain, such is life.”
4. Tap into your innate knowing and creativity. Don’t limit yourself by saying “Oh, I’m not creative”, “I can’t write”, “I can’t ……………”  Just start acting as if you believed you were creative, and soon you will be creating.
5. Give yourself permission to have silent time, get lost in your thoughts, experiment.  This is where our inspiration and creativity comes from. When we stop trying to multi-task,  we can be more present to right here, right now.

Ask yourself, when are you normally in a state of flow? What takes you out of it? How can you achieve greater flow in your life? Wishing you many opportunities to be in the flow.
Enjoy,

Kimberly Weichel

Amazing how that inner critic can get in the way at work.

How often have we not spoken up at a meeting because we were afraid our idea or suggestion wasn’t worth it? How often have we delayed turning in a report because we were concerned it wasn’t good enough? Or how often have we not applied for a higher position in our organization or company because we didn’t think we were smart enough or experienced enough?  When we let these voices dictate our behavior, it definitely limits our potential. Our limiting beliefs get in the way of our advancement and fulfillment. And they also harm our sense of self worth and our relationships. This doesn’t mean we need to boast or push our ideas forward – a healthy reflection and sense of humility are important.

It seems that women suffer from listening to our inner critic more than men.

For years I told myself I couldn’t draw – a self-fulfilling mantra that would come up each year when I got out my sketch book and tried to draw something only to stop after minutes out of discouragement. Yet several years ago I decided that that concept was no longer serving me and I took up a painting class.  Now that I confronted that limiting belief and go beyond it, I love to paint.

Several girlfriends tell me in different words about why they can’t do something. When I suggest to one middle age friend who loves music that she take up piano, she tells me “I’m too old to do that”.

What can we do to tame our critic?

Our thoughts are our only power. They control our life in more ways than we know, yet the only thing we really have control over is our thinking. If we can learn ways to begin changing our thinking patterns, we can watch how our life begins to change, from our health to our work to our ability to give and receive love. Here are some things that have worked for me:

1. Be aware of those critical voices. Acknowledge them, confront them and assess them. Be honest with yourself.
2. Decide you don’t need them anymore. This is a conscious choice, and every time that critic surfaces, remind yourself of your choice. Grow beyond it, as I did with drawing.
3. Visualize yourself doing what you’d like to do – playing the piano, drawing, stepping into a new position at work, etc. Visualization is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
4. Be courageous, be bold. Step out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes this requires deep work.

We might want the help of a therapist or trusted friend. These inner voices can harm relationships, keep us stuck in a position that we’ve grown beyond, and run our lives in more ways than we know.

Rather than have that inner critic greet you rudely every morning and criticize you every time you fall short – perhaps causing harm to your personal success and relationships – reframe it and make it your friend.

There is at least comfort in knowing that most of us deal with this, so we are not alone. Yet we each need to do our own work to overcome the negative effects.

When your inner critic is at your service instead of against you, it gives you a tremendous amount of power.

So next time you stop yourself from speaking up, from applying for that next higher position, from taking that new class, from dating that special person, from writing that book, think again. Why not?  You can do it.
In peace,

Kim Weichel

Let’s be creative with the word creative. Creativity isn’t just in what we do, but in who we are.
Creativity for me is a way of expressing myself, incorporating my own ideas into what I do and how I do it, a desire to step out of the ordinary and try new things, to think “out of the box”, and to take risks. It means having a flair for beauty and color and design. It means having a zest for life and deepening my connection with my inner child. It means giving myself permission to try something new.

I can be creative in the way I dress, in how I set up my office, in how I relate with others, in how I manage other people, and in how I do my work. I can be creative in the way I write, speak, and act in everyday life.

Being creative is a way to grow, to experiment, to deepen, and to enjoy life.
I am more fully alive when I express my creativity. I love to play the piano, sing, and paint watercolors. Once in awhile I love to get creative in the kitchen and cook up something unique – without a recipe. And when people like it, I make up a title. I also love to be creative in how I dress. In the Washington, DC area where I now live, many people wear dark suits.  Dressing in a bright colored outfit accompanied by an ethnic necklace or scarf at professional events is my way of expressing myself and rebelling against the norm, I’m always amazed at how many people compliment me on my outfit.

How can you expand our creativity — even if you believe you are not creative?

1. Be aware of what your own voice wants to express, whether in words, actions, dress, cooking, writing, or otherwise. Listen to your intuition. Then, express yourself!
2. Try something new or different. I find there is nothing more stifling than doing the same thing the same way over and over. Be bold!
3. Courage. As Erich Fromm says “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” Go for it!
4. Brainstorm. See how many different ways you can come up with to tackle a problem, handle a situation, work with a colleague, etc. We often think there are only 2 ways of doing something – your way and my way, but there are always many more options than we think. Practice being non-judgmental and listing as many options as you can, despite how silly or impractical they may sound. This is how advertising agencies work.
5. Don’t limit yourself.  Don’t believe your own limiting comments such as “I’m too old to learn to paint/play music”, “I can’t do that.” Plum under the excuses, e.g., “I tried writing once but it didn’t work” ignores the fact that to get good at something we need to practice it. “I don’t have time” belies the fact that when most of us want to really do something, we want find the time. When you go beyond self-imposed limits, you just might find that your life takes on new meaning.

Creativity connects us with our soul and our innermost yearnings.

I love Alan Alda’s description of creativity: “The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”

And Albert Einstein says it well, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

So remember your gift and explore your creativity in as many ways as you can.   At work you might consider:

1. Looking at how you decorated your office – does it express your uniqueness?
2. Examining your relationships with your boss and colleagues – could they be improved?
3. Exploring how much creativity you put into your work. Are you simply going through the motions and doing the minimum possible to get by, or are you putting yourself into your work and making it truly yours? If the work doesn’t spark you, what can you do to change it?
4. What might you suggest at work to enhance the creativity of yourself and others? Brainstorm with others and make recommendations.

Remember, we are ALL creative.

May 2010 be a creative year for you.

Blessings,

Kimberly Weichel

We judge people and situations constantly based on our own frame of reference.

If we’re extroverts, we might consider those who don’t speak up meek or timid; if we’re introverts, we might judge extroverts as forthright or pushy.  Neither judgment is considered a positive by the person making it.

When I was a manager of a department, I asked for agenda items at the beginning of weekly staff meetings. I assumed that silent staff weren’t interested or had nothing to say. After our department took the Myers Briggs test, I learned the quiet staff were introverts who preferred to get the agenda in advance so they could think about their responses ahead of time. It was a great lesson in the danger of assumptions and the importance of acknowledging different working styles.

Finding common ground means looking beyond stereotypes and trying to understand the issue or situation from the other person’s perspective.

It means being open to listening to the other person’s viewpoint – not like a cat ready to spring with our response, but really hearing what they say. Sometimes it helps to summarize what the person has said to be sure you have understood their message – which lets the speaker feel heard and gives them a chance to restate their message if it wasn’t fully understood.  It means asking questions for further clarification.

It doesn’t mean we need to agree. When I really disagree with someone and neither of us is going to change our minds, I often like to say “Let’s agree to disagree on this issue.” This at least provides a common ground ending on that topic.

Finding common ground requires emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is understanding and taking responsibility for our feelings, and showing respect for other people’s feelings. It includes several key components:

1. Self Awareness - The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
2. Self regulation - The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods; the ability to suspend judgment – to think before acting.
3. Empathy – The ability to understand the emotional make up of other people; skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions.
4. Social skill - Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks; an ability to find common ground and build rapport.

Building Common Ground Begins with Personal Spiritual Practice

My practice includes taking personal responsibility for my words and actions, being mindful of the impact of my words and actions on others and making adjustments where necessary, caring about the wellbeing and feelings of others, and nurturing my relationships.

To nurture my relationships – at work, at home, with friends – I need to be sure that each relationship is free of misunderstandings and conflict. Where misunderstandings occur, and of course they do, I take time to speak with the person with as open mind as I can to talk about the misunderstanding and what we can both do to clear it.

The more open I am, the more able I am to hear any concern and make amends or adjustments in my words or actions. Sometimes the misunderstanding is just that – and talking about it clears up confusion. Sometimes it’s a difference of opinion or upset about different ways of doing things, and talking about it honestly can dissipate the energy and lead to healing. I don’t need to change my mind – just understand their perspective.

Intent is key!

When talking with someone about a misunderstanding, is my intention to heal the difference, or do I want to score points or get back at the person? Clearly, a healing intention supports common ground, while the intent to score points shatters it.

When I speak up with an intent to heal, I am vulnerable and I open the door to a deeper kind of dialogue. I have found that misunderstandings or even conflict have deepened a relationship if both of us are willing to be vulnerable and to really listen.

I encourage you to review your relationships.  Check your intention, and see if there are conversations you might want to have to clear up differences – you may be very glad you did.

Blessings,

Kimberly Weichel

I used to think I was being clever in getting things done quickly.  But at what cost?

One of the most obvious costs of multi-tasking is the toll it takes on relationships.  In earlier conversations, people might say after speaking for a while, “What do you think?”  Because I couldn’t really pay attention while trying to do something else, I would blush and not know what to say, other than sheepishly ask, “Would you mind repeating it?”

What happened to attentiveness as a basic component of caring?

Like most people with a few decades of life experience, I was brought up to politely pay attention, while inattentiveness or interruptions were considered to be rude.  Now, inattentiveness and interruptions have become common.

I often find myself irritated when I attend events and someone’s cell phone rings, they answer it and start talking in the middle of a conference, movie or program! As both a speaker and attendee of various conferences, I find it disturbing to look around the room and see at least half the heads looking down at their Blackberry.

Can’t people pay attention? Why did we come to an event if we don’t want to listen?  Sure, there are RARE occasions when we are expecting an urgent call, but not all of our non-urgent calls seem to take priority over where we are and who we are with.

Scientific Studies Reveal Some Dangers of Multi-tasking

We all know the dangers of texting and driving, which fortunately has now been banned in all states. Yet many states allow people to talk on the cell phone and drive, despite plenty of evidence that it can lead to accidents, even fatalities.

And how often do we make costly mistakes at work when we try to do too many things at once?  How much longer do conversations take because we don’t pay attention?

Brain Research Shows Multi-tasking Really Doesn’t Work

“For each aspect of human performance — perceiving, thinking and acting — people have specific mental resources whose effective use requires supervision through executive mental control,” says Dr. David Meyer in Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance. http://www.apa.org/journals/xhp It’s as if our mental CEO is trying to process and establish priorities among multiple tasks so it can allocate mental resources to them.

Multi-taskers diminish their ability to focus (and thereby be effective) because they tend to retain distracting information in their short-term memory.  “You’re being flooded with too much information and you can’t selectively filter out quickly which is important and which is not important,” says Meyer. “It only takes a fraction of a second for you to take your eyes off the road and miss the guy making a right-hand turn into your lane.”

Dr. Meyer and others found that people actually lose time by switching repeatedly between two tasks of varying complexity and familiarity. They have shorter attention spans and increased difficulty being present. When things seem not to move fast enough, they try to quickly fill it with something that seems to move faster.

Multi-tasking really inhibits effective human relationships. Don’t we notice when others aren’t paying attention to us?  Aside from whatever feelings we might have about another’s lack of respect, doesn’t the lack of focus and attention make it harder to transact any business right the first time?

For spiritual growth and human relations, we need to focus on one task at a time.

That’s the only way we can be more centered and present. Yes, I can do things like straighten the desk while waiting on a telephone hold, but a conversation or other task requires my full attention.

Spiritual practices help to center me in a fast paced world.  I especially need moments of silence, time for reflection, and time to dream.  The more of this type of practice I do, the more efficient I become.

Next time you are tempted to try 3 things at once, think again. And be sure you savor time for presence and silence.
In peace,

Kimberly Weichel

Kimberly Weichel is a social pioneer, educator, author and specialist in global communications, leadership and peacebuilding. She is co-author of “Healing the Heart of the World” and director of the Institute for Peacebuilding.  www.kimweichel.org.